How are you? Are you having a good day? Sorry I dropped you like 5 times today. Thanks for not cracking. I appreciate that. You must have been reading my texts and known that I just don’t have time to take you to the sketchy iPhone glass changer guy in the kiosk at the mall. Thanks again.
My day has been ca-ray-zay, but you always help me get through! So, I just thought I’d write to tell you I love you.
I was thinking about you today when LG just would.not.shut.up. He was talking about dinosaurs for at least 20 straight minutes and I’m pretty sure he was making up most of it. No four year-old knows 20 minutes worth of actual information about dinosaurs, so he was definitely making it up. Or repeating himself. Either way I was slipping in and out of consciousness. Around minute 7 I started wondering what was happening in the news. Like real world news. Not the “news” from Disney Channel about how to make healthy snacks or some other fake not-news news from Nickelodeon or Sprout (hello I don’t care about birthdays if you aren’t going to put on my kid’s card on tv. That thing took me all night to make!). Real what’s happening in the world as told to me by someone in a suit, waders, or combat gear. You know how I love that Associated Press app of yours. Think LG noticed I was catching up on the debt ceiling issue during his 12th minute of somethingasaurus descriptions?
Later, when I was in the world’s longest check out line because it was the only one with a female cashier and it seems everyone in town is buying tampons (which, incidentally explains a lot), I was so bored! So, I caught up on what like 20 of my friends are doing today on Facebook. Oh, remind me to go to that new indoor play place. I know you won’t forget because I set the alarm for 1 hour “before event.”
After that, when I was eating lunch with the kids who were watching one of the only three episodes of Jake and the Neverland Pirates ever made and that we have seen one billion times, I entertained myself with a couple blogs people posted about on Twitter. On another note, remind me to call and thank Disney for releasing that cartoon with only those three episodes. Don’t they know pirates are like preschool boy crack and that, once addicted, the boys will watch the same episode indefinitely forsaking food, water, and play just for a glimpse of Captain Hook? Couldn’t they think of the moms here and give the show a friggin’ decent plot? Where do the doubloons come from anyway? Sorry, let’s get back to you. I love you. Thanks for saving me from “Yo Ho, Food to Go!” AGAIN!
Then, the boys’ Aunt Kiki called, but I couldn’t answer. How could I when the boys are so jealous of you? You know they are just gonna poop to get my attention the second she starts with the really good gossip. So, I texted her. Thanks for always making life easier for me (and allowing me to selectively delete texts).
You really are so good to me. You always do whatever I want. Except type curse words. Really, I don’t want to type “birch.” And what’s with you being so touchy about your home button? Don’t stress, we’ll work it out.
Hubs says I’m addicted to you. I thought maybe he was right when I first thought about writing you this love letter while he was talking to me about being addicted, but naaaa. We just understand each other.
You complete me. Or you merely complete my connection to grown-ups outside my house. Regardless, I need you. Desperately.
Please don’t ever leave me. If you did, how would I tell anyone? I’m scared just thinking about it.
Love and dependence,